What Has Been Stolen
by notourmoniker
Summary: Snow White stole many things before she ever became a bandit.


Long before Regina had banished her from her family home, long before she had been forced into the woods, long before anyone would have thought to call her a bandit, Snow White was already a practiced thief.

Since childhood she learned that the things she wanted - not the things her father and his servants so eagerly provided - the things she _truly_ wanted, would not be given to her freely.

She tried to earn them, to be deserving, but it was never enough. Her efforts always failed to grant her what she sought.

While her subjects may have called her fairest in the land, though her tutors might have praised her intellect and quick mind, and her riding instructors may have given her ribbons and silver cups, these things felt unmerited and insignificant when compared to what motivated her to strive for such excellence.

Snow White craved Regina's approval, her attention, her _love_.

As a child she wanted Regina to look at her, to see her and be proud. She was Snow's idol - good and kind and heroic. Regina was everything Snow's mother had wanted her to be.

Yet as time passed, it became clear that Regina would not acknowledge any goodness in Snow White.

So, Snow learned how to steal. She learned that when she was selfish or childish Regina's attention would shift from whatever it was that so fully preoccupied her thoughts and instead go to Snow. She learned that spoiled and petulant moods drew more notice than attempts to please or impress.

It wasn't the way she had wanted Regina to see her, but Snow White tried to find something worthwhile in all she had stolen.

And as she grew older, and her skills at occupying Regina's time and energy became more deft, Snow began to see that the woman she so adored was not as kind and good as she once was. But any distress that may have come from such a realization was tempered as Snow's feelings changed from childish admiration to a more immediate longing.

Slowly, Regina became everything Snow no longer wanted to _be_ but to _have_.

It started innocently with stolen glances and unprompted touches when Regina came near to her. There were small moments when Snow joined her in the gardens or the library, and they would read or admire the flowers in silence.

She worked to steal the space that had so long kept them apart, doing her best to be close to Regina at every opportunity.

She learned to be subtle, to take covertly. Snow knew too well that if she was caught, she would lose all she had taken and then some.

In this way, she practiced her craft until the allure of a larger prize became unbearable.

One night in the gardens, Snow pinned Regina against a mossy stone wall as they walked together - the walks themselves having taken much effort for the Queen to tolerate.

The kiss was clumsy and over quickly as Regina pushed her away, eyes alight with anger.

Her step-mother's face showed more open emotion than it had in years as she examined the princess. Taking advantage of the moment, Snow kissed her again, this time more sure. Her confidence was rewarded as Regina kissed back.

Before it deepened, the Queen pulled away, a dark smirk on her face. Without a word she turned to walk into the castle alone.

Snow simply stood there, heart beating wildly, lips tingling with the memory of Regina's.

So, stolen glances became stolen kisses and brief touches of skin on skin. Regina never initiated and allowed for little more than what Snow had taken that first night. But she also never turned her away. For her part, Snow was greedy for whatever was made available to her.

Theirs was a crime that would carry heavy penalties if caught, but Snow was blind to the consequences if only she could be with Regina, be close to her, look at her unguarded, and in rare moments even see her smile.

She would have stolen anything in the world to see Regina happy.

For a year she felt like maybe they were moving towards something - a place where she would see a new side of the woman she had come to care for so deeply. She hoped that maybe Regina would finally, genuinely, smile at _her_. She allowed herself to believe that maybe they were moving towards something more.

But when her father was killed, Regina cast her out, and everything between turned from stolen treasures to trinkets forged by pain and betrayal.

In the weeks after her father's death Snow wished to give back everything she had stolen so carelessly.

When the huntsman came she got her chance.

He was to cut out her heart and take it back to the palace as proof of her death. Perhaps the thought should have horrified her, but instead she saw that where she taken and felt a failure maybe she could succeed in giving.

So she ran from him only long enough to write an apology. She wanted Regina to see how she regretted the hurt between them. Snow wanted her to know that she had tried to earn Regina's affection, then to steal it for her own covetous love, and in failing both attempts knew that this pain must be her fault.

And maybe if she could learn to give her heart instead of trying so desperately, so selfishly, to take Regina's, the pain would stop.

But the huntsman didn't give her the chance. He let her go. And as Regina pursued her with violence and fire, trying to take back something of what had been stolen, Snow forgot how willing she had been to give this woman everything.

Then came Charming.

He changed things. He loved so openly and gave so freely that though Snow had become a bandit she no longer was a thief. In him she saw a way to be happy, to finally be content with what she had. For a while she was.

She practiced being glad for his gentle caresses and easy smiles. She convinced herself that what he could give was enough.

But months went by, and even as soldiers pursued her and she lost much in the war with the Evil Queen, Regina was never far from her mind. The thrill of her rare smiles and secreted touches, though stolen and now distant, were more precious than anything David had been able to offer.

It was a heartbreak to realize how unsatisfied she was with his kindness. So without thinking she started to take from him.

Moments that his attention would have been better served elsewhere. Touches that he welcomed but with hesitance. Time, when he had already provided her with plenty.

She fell into old habits, taking advantage of his love, knowing that she would steal too much and hurt him.

And yet, when the strain of their relationship started to show around his eyes and the slope of his shoulders, she felt helpless.

Both ignored how Snow had never fully returned all he had given to her.

He let her blame Regina. She could claim that the constant fear, the endless running were affecting them. She pretended that if only the Queen would let them be, their future and their happiness would be more secure. He allowed her the lie, even though it was clear to both of them that Snow would never wish Regina out of her life.

It was just one more thing he had offered her in love.

But then he was gone, and Regina truly had disrupted whatever hope there had been for their happiness.

So when the parlay was declared, Snow did not know what debts she might be called to repay.

She met Regina at a stable, and they walked together to a gravesite as the past was elucidated.

It was there that Snow realized how much she had taken without even realizing.

Regina's happiness. Regina's future.

Her entire life she had wanted to see this woman happy, and all her life she had been unable to do so, because she was such a skilled and insatiable thief that she did not even known all that she had stolen.

Suddenly, all she had forfeited in their long conflict, her kingdom, her title, even her father, took on new meaning.

The suffering she and Regina were enduring, had endured, remained disparate.

And worse yet, a lifetime of thievery left her without the skills to repay what had been done.

Whatever heartbreak she had felt before was dwarfed by this devastation.

Then, Regina offered her the apple.

A life lost would be exchanged for a life taken.

The Queen smirked, certain she would accept the bargain however unwillingly.

But as Snow stood there, eyes on the only gift Regina would ever give her, she saw an opportunity to return to the moment when she had sat in the woods and told a man to cut her heart out. If her life and happiness were all that were required to remedy the imbalance between them, if that was how what was due and what was owed needed to be reconciled, then it was no sacrifice.

It was recompense.

So, Snow White gave all she could with the wish that it would be enough to make Regina happy.


End file.
